July 19, 2018 by James Lindquist
Note: I apologize to my readers for my late blog. Things beyond my control slowed me in getting this week’s blog out. Life gets in the way sometime. There was also no secure WIFI where I was at. I’ll see you all next Monday. Anyway:
One Saturday morning, Suzie Q called John Q into the front room and boldly proclaimed to him, “I am not in love with you anymore.”
John’s brilliant retort? “Huh?” That’s all that he could come up with. This was a multi-decade marriage. He was at a loss, and completely caught off guard. Wow!
John didn’t know what to say and he bit back. He had to lean on the back of the couch before he fell down. He was completely shocked when she told him she didn’t have those in-love feelings for him anymore and that she was leaving forthwith.
How many of us have experienced this scenario. More times than not, it draws us into a tit for tat, point/counterpoint confrontation. I must confess that I to fell into Satan’s snare with just such a scenario. As a believer, I wasn’t proud of myself for my reaction.
When we love our spouse or significant other, and if presented with this scenario, it catches us so far off guard that we do not know what to say or do. It did me. I wonder what would have happened if John Q (or myself for that matter) that instead of reacting, we’d of lovingly responded in Christ-like form. On the other hand, what if Suzie Q, instead of shocking John Q., would have said something like, “We need to talk John,” and then presented her case with love. Who knows what might happen. Instead of tit for tat, if we returned with love, maybe we could deflect a divorce or separation. We call that communication. . .and love.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8a Love never fails. . .[1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV]
Of course we all have 20/20 hindsight but if two people really love each other, they’ll find a way. News flash! The Bible has the Way. . .(the Truth and the Life) . Let’s remember God’s Word and heaven forbid if any of you when presented with this scenario, at least you’ll know what to say or do. Hold the tongue of reaction and respond with the tongue of love or you might find yourself in a one bedroom apartment watching SVU reruns. Maybe a little love and attention is all he or she needs. At this stage of the game, you might not want to talk but let the unhappy one do the talking.
Then do not react with point/counterpoint or some diatribe of defense mechanism but apologize and reaffirm your love for them. Whether their argument is true or not, we have to see things from their perspective because guaranteed, that’s exactly how they are looking at it. Remember during the summer months and you wanted a drink but didn’t want to go inside to get one, so you went to the garden hose to satisfy your thirst. What did you do? You let all the garbage run out before taking your drink. So before responding to your spouse, let all the garbage run out, and then just love them. See if that doesn’t work better than recompensing evil for evil .
Is this a guarantee that things will be better and or work out? In a word, no. Why? There are two people involved. However, your love may disarm them enough to get to the good stuff, and you’ve responded biblically and that’s always the proper way, no matter the outcome. God bless you all and I pray that you never hear those words, “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
Next monday: We’ll learn the one verse in the Bible that if taken to heart and seriously practiced, could literally eradicate ALL problems between two believing people.
 John 14:6
 Romans 12:17-21; Proverbs 20:22